Many children today need help when faced with new scary sounds, events and pictures in their lives.
Severe fright is usually considered a SHOCK TREATMENT.
The characteristics of this type of trauma are as follows:
✔️ Suddenness
✔️ Short duration
✔️ Direct or indirect threat to life
I think there is no need to describe what exactly at the end of February of this year could have triggered this kind of injury. It’s already clear to everyone. War, explosions, sirens and other horrors of recent months.
Let’s take a domestic example of how this trauma “works” and what we can do about it all. After all, this kind of trauma occurs in peacetime as well.
The simplest and most understandable example is being frightened by an animal. For example, by a dog.
A child walks around unsuspectingly and then unexpectedly a big (or not so big) dog runs out from around the corner, and barks (it doesn’t have to bite, and it may not bark at the child, it is enough that it runs in his direction).
Bang, bang, bang! Sharp fright, fear, feeling that everyone, you (or your loved one) will be eaten/ hurted ?
That’s where we get the shock trauma.
Signs that the child didn’t get away with fright, but still “got” shock trauma:
– Aggression (unmotivated) appeared;
– Fears;
– Sleep/ stool disorders;
– neurotization (tics);
– some old psychosomatic illnesses came back;
– the child became more withdrawn;
– there may be regression in behavior and skills;
– often children (3+ years old) replay the traumatic event over and over again in games (i.e., such cyclical and identical games).
The intensity of the effects depends on several things:
- The type of the child’s nervous system
- Who was with him or her and how this “someone” reacted
- What happened after the event (help given to the child)
And this is the 3rd point I want to talk about.
WHAT SHOULD AN ADULT DO?
The first thing to do is to BE SURE.
Our anxiety, fright and other emotions are transmitted to the child, just as calmness is transmitted with the assurance that the “danger” is behind us, all is well: “I’m here”.
The next step is to create a feeling of safety.
That is, to calm the child, somehow switch her, give something in her hands, give her something to drink or wash her face, if there is such a possibility.
LET THE BABY CRY. As much as the baby needs.
There is no need to suppress the tears through force, it is better to take them, tell them what is happening now (where you are) and return them to a state of safety.
EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED.
This is exactly what I wrote about above. When allowing crying, explain what happened. For example: “A dog was running. It must have gotten lost/ scared, etc. When dogs are in that state they make loud noises, barking, which scares you. But it’s over, it ran away and didn’t touch you. Yeah I wouldn’t let, etc., etc.”
The key is: DANGER IS HEREBY GONE.
Whether it’s a dog/ race/ accident/ lost (that’s also very scary), etc.
I’ve written earlier on the blog about how to explain to kids what happened as a result of military action (blasts/ sirens, etc.). See the posts “air-raid alarm”, “how to help children in an emergency situation”, “the war, how to help children”.
And the most important thing, in my opinion: GIVE THE CHILD EXPERIENCE BEFORE THE FIRST NIGHT.
It’s a mistake to think that it’s better to let the child forget as soon as possible and avoid any conversation about the traumatic event.
On the contrary, if the child will not talk about the event that frightened him or her and will not get the necessary feedback from the parent, then the “event” will pass from his or her short-term memory during sleep into the long-term, and maybe even into the unconscious, and then there will be obvious consequences. Because it will pass in the perception in which the child remembers it in the moment (and most often it is a shock, fear, a feeling of death).
So be sure to talk about what happened during the day. Calm down, tell your version and help bring back the feeling of safety, so that it is with this feeling that the child goes to bed.
‼️ Please note the following recent posts: “helping children react to fears” and “fear of death appeared in the background of the events.
Subsequently, if you notice signs that an event has been negatively imprinted in the child’s psyche, I recommend that you contact a specialist (child or crisis psychologist) for individual recommendations and work with the child.
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