We have all had moments when the ground seems to disappear from under our feet: moving house, changing schools, the birth of a brother or sister, parental divorce, war. For an adult, this is a challenge. For a child, it is a real shock that they cannot yet put into words.
And here, the most important thing is not to “protect” the child from change (because that is impossible), but to teach them to cope with change together with you.
Children feel more than we think
Young children pick up on tone of voice, silence, and tension in the air. If mum smiles but her eyes are sad, the child notices. If there is tension in the family, even a baby will start to sleep restlessly.
Therefore, the first step to providing support is to acknowledge your own emotions and allow yourself to be honest.
“Yes, I’m worried. But we’ll get through this. And I’m here for you.”
This simple sentence already creates that inner “island of safety” on which the child can rely in the waves of change.
5 ways to support your child during times of change
✅ Name emotions out loud
Children are not born with the ability to recognise anxiety, anger or fear. It is our cues that shape their emotional vocabulary.
“You’re probably a little scared to go to a new nursery, aren’t you? That’s normal. I was nervous too when I changed jobs.”
This is not weakness — it is the development of emotional intelligence.
✅ Do familiar things — they provide support
A morning ritual, a favourite cup, an evening story — all of this creates a sense of a “known world,” even if everything outside the window is changing.
Stability in the little things is an anchor of security.
✅ Create a space where your child is heard
Instead of “don’t cry,” it’s better to say:
“Tell me what’s upsetting you. I’m listening.”
Listening means not only hearing words, but also seeing between the lines: disturbing drawings, silence, waking up at night — these are all signals that should not be ignored.
✅ Be there physically and emotionally
Hugs, kisses, eye contact — these are the best “medicine” in times of stress. The body remembers warmth and care, even when words are unnecessary.
If you cannot change the situation, become the person who remains unchanged in the eyes of the child.
5. Use play as a tool for recovery
Through play, children experience things they cannot yet comprehend. Play “hospital,” “new school,” “travel,” “packing suitcases” — this allows children to symbolically work through events.
Play is psychotherapy for a toddler. No unnecessary words or complicated explanations.
What if your child has completely shut down?
✔️ Stay calm. This is their way of protecting themselves. Give them time and space.
✔️ Go back to the basics: food, sleep, hugs, movement.
✔️ Consult a child psychologist if the behaviour does not change within a few weeks.
Don’t forget: you are their support. And support doesn’t have to answer all the questions. It just exists. Reliable. Alive. Warm.
Finally: love + stability = a resource for life
Supporting a child in stress is not always about “saving” them. More often, it’s about being there. Being close, accepting tears, drawing a rainbow together when there’s a storm outside.
Because it is from these moments — small but sincere — that confidence in the world and in oneself is born. And this is the most valuable thing we can give a child.
“You are not alone. I am here. Together we will get through this.”
This is a phrase that is worth repeating not only to your child, but also to yourself.
Taking care of your children,
Speech therapist,
correctional teacher,
founder of the Speech and Correctional Therapy Centers of Oleksandra Zinchenko,
co-founder of the
Association of speech therapists
Ukraine
More information is available on the website:
https://logocenter-zinchenko.com/
