Author of this article:
Anita Viakanti is a child and perinatal psychologist, art therapist, and master’s student in health and developmental psychology.
In normal life, we learn a lot about a child by watching him or her:
– what he likes,
– how he communicates or does not communicate with other children,
– decisive or the opposite, it needs time and help in making any decisions, and so on.
In general, the observation of behavior and reactions is a good way to analyze the situation, but something is left out of the picture. Namely, the inner world, thoughts, feelings and self-perception of the child. Of course, you can try asking the child about his or her feelings, experiences, thoughts, but most likely (especially with preschool children) nothing will come of it. Not because children want to hide something from us, but because it is difficult for them to reflect, analyze, and verbalize their feelings. Not every adult is capable of this.
But we want to know about the experiences and feelings of a child. And this is where the storyline of a fairy tale comes in handy. I have already told you about the magical effect of a fairy tale on a child and why it’s happening (bright images, the power of the unconscious and the “protection” of consciousness).
With the “language” of a fairy tale, you can communicate with a child on a deep and sensual level. That’s why the @silaskazki profile is actively maintained by me. Because now more than ever, children and parents need good therapeutic fairy tales. But that’s not what this is about…
Here’s the thing: I’ve been working a lot lately (specifically since February, 2022) with kids who have been through the war and it’s the fairy tales, the art therapy that helps them open up. A fairy tale is a kind of bridge from the unconscious world of a child to the conscious world of an adult (this is when a child makes something up, and the adult interprets it for himself).
Nowadays many children have had to go through incredible stress and big changes. Their home (some of them have been evacuated to the other cities or even countries, some lost their home), everyday life, routine, and even the number of parents around them have changed. So in order to get a feel for the emotional state of the child, I want to share with you the UNFINISHED TALES.
A lot of other diagnostic techniques (self-esteem, adaptation at school, emotional state, etc.) are already published in the profile: in the feed – posts; in reels – videos.
Returning to the diagnostic unfinished fairy tales, I would like to say that I took them from the book by Evgeniya Cheh “I’m mad today. Tell me a fairy tale”. A good book. I recommend it.
The essence of the trick is that YOU tell a child a little FIGURE of a fairy tale.
❣️ While describing a fairy tale family, introduce the characters that correspond to your family:
– who mom and dad are, how many children are in the family, what gender they are.
It is important not just to tell a fairy tale, but to modify it as you go along and continue the story in the direction of your child’s choice.
❓ Then invite your child to answer the question, “HOW DID YOU THINK THAT WAS FURTHER?
‼️Two important things
?First, your child shouldn’t feel like you’re trying to get something out of him. You need to choose a convenient moment. Maybe you should wait for him to ask to tell the story himself, especially if it is customary in your family.
? Secondly, do not comment in any way on your baby’s answers. Try to memorize them in detail and then write them down and think about the meaning.
❗️ And do not tell all the tales at once: you will confuse yourself and the child will get tired.
Pay attention to how the child listens to the tale. If he is nervous, interrupts the story and offers an unexpected ending, answers quickly, lowering his voice, blushing or pale, if he refuses to answer a question – all these are signs of acute problems.
A few examples of fairy tales for different occasions:
⏰ THE TALE OF THE CLOCK
“Once upon a time, in a distant country, there lived a master watchmaker. He made many watches during his life. But the ones he liked the most, he kept for himself. And now a whole family of clocks settled in his house: Pendulum, Cuckoo Clock and little Alarm Clock(s) (list your family members). The pendulum was the most important, of course, because the clockmaker himself checked the time by it.
The pendulum was always in a hurry to work, he had to count seconds, minutes, hours. The clock with the cuckoo was also often busy – because the cuckoo had to urgently pass all the latest news to other cuckoos from other houses, as well as to keep an eye on the house. And by the way, no one released her from her job – to count down the time.
And the little Alarm Clock was sometimes bored and even sad… Why do you think the little Alarm Clock was sometimes even sad? One day… “
How did the fairy tale turn out? Didn’t the Alarm Clock do something destructive to distract the Pendulum and the Cuckoo Clock from their business and worries? The plot went in a different direction? Well and good, it means that the baby has no special problems with lack of attention.
? FAIRY TALE “HARD TIMES”
“Once upon a time there were hares in the forest. Hare-dad, hare-mom and hare-son (daughter). One day the hare-dad said to the hare-mom: “You know, hard times have come. I have been thinking for a long time how we can survive. And I came up with an idea. Let us… “What do you think Papa Rabbit said?”
This fairy tale tie-in allows us to understand how the baby feels in the family, as well as to find out how he perceives family problems.
?FAIRY TALE “THE GARDENER AND THE BUSH”
“In one garden, a gardener planted a small bush. The gardener loved his little bush very much, he regularly watered and hilled it up. He also cut the bush from time to time to give it a beautiful shape. But the branches of the bush kept growing in different directions. “It’s not right,” the gardener said and cut the bush again. And then in one fine day… What do you think happened one fine day?”
In this fairy tale we are interested in whether the child feels pressure, excessive control, which suppresses initiative. In the fairy tale it can be expressed in protest, rebellion of the bush.
? THE TALE OF THE CROW
“In a certain kingdom, in a certain state, there lived a king and a queen. And they had a little son (daughter) – a prince (princess). They lived happily ever after, and knew no misfortune. But a black crow flew over their kingdom. When the raven saw the prince (princess) playing in the garden, he grabbed him and dragged him to his kingdom. The prince (princess) began to ask the raven: “Let me go, I am a good person”. And the raven says: “Okay, I’ll let you go, but on one condition. If you tell me the truth about your three good qualities. If I believe you, I’ll let you go… “What do you think the prince (princess) named (named) his (her) good qualities?”
With the help of this fairy tale, you can find out what the child’s self-esteem is, whether he/she is confident in himself/herself. Does the child think he/she is good, beautiful, smart, strong? Encourage your child who is hesitant to say good things about himself or herself. You have to save the prince (princess). After a successful enumeration, the raven carries the prince (princess) home.
? TALE OF THE ENCHANTED PRINCE (PRINCESS)
“In a certain kingdom, in a certain state, there lived (lived and lived) a prince (princess). But his life was no fun, because he or she was bewitched. Why do you think he was bewitched?”
This fairy tale is about guilt. Does the child feel guilty about past misdeeds? You will hear it in the baby’s story. In this case, it is worth asking yourself the question: was the incident not over? Was the child not punished and forgiven?
? THE TALE OF THE CRANES
“Once upon a time there was a crane family: a father, a mother, and a chick. The chick was small, but he had already learned to fly. He could already fly over to the neighboring pond on his own and was very proud of himself. So one day Daddy says, “It’s time, we have to get ready to go.” “Where to?” – wondered the chick? “To a warmer land,” replied Daddy, “for it’s getting cold here, soon winter will come and we’ll freeze. “But I’m afraid. I haven’t learned how to fly very well for long-distance flight,” the chick objected. “Don’t be afraid, you’re old enough to handle it,” said Mother. And so they flew. It wasn’t a long journey, but the chick did manage. And when they flew to the new place… What do you think happened there?”
This tale can help you learn how a child adapts to different innovations, changes in his life.
This last tale may be more relevant now than ever. Remember that the results of the “fairy tale diagnosis” are rather beacons and signals of where to move parents to help/support the child. You should not take them as an ironclad conclusion: “all is bad” or “all is well. You and I should understand that a deep and thorough diagnosis requires more than one methodology and specialist.
I hug you and hope that my articles and materials resonate and support those who need it now.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILDREN.
P.S. There’s a lot of supportive information on the instagram blog, and @silaskazki’s profile is full of helpful therapeutic tales, including a video format (just an alternative to cartoons). Also, don’t forget the actual stories. There’s even more useful material saved in them.
More information from Anita Vayakanti:
https://instagram.com/silaskazki
