Raising children is not an easy business. Sometimes it can be difficult to maintain a balance, especially during children’s tantrums.
And it also happens that you talk and talk, and still the child does not hear you.
Sometimes you even want to scream from powerlessness, but stop yourself, because screaming – it is not a way out, it is rather forced and unpleasant for many parents.
In order to shout less, understand more, explain and negotiate better, I want to share with you a few phrases that can be used instead of the usual: “go to your room / don’t yell, etc.”, which in turn will help to calm down the tantrum (or even prevent it from starting) and make relationships with children stronger.
❌Stop whining!
✅ I understand that you are (tired/hungry, etc.). Let’s think about what we can do about it?
✅ I get angry sometimes too. It’s okay to be angry. Hitting other kids is bad, you can’t do that. Let’s think about what you can do next time you get angry to make you feel better?
❌I’m ashamed that you act like that in public!
✅Let’s talk to you at home, you can’t solve these kinds of problems in public (or accept a big, medium, small problem).
❌I’m tired of you.
✅My mood looks like ““, and yours? (offer to choose an emoticon). What do we need to do to make it feel like ““?
Remember that your actions and words shape your child and his future. Continue to act with love and patience.
Yours Anita Vayakanti,
Pediatric Perinatal Psychologist and Art Therapist.
